thoughts on our new normal

please // 20 oct 23

refrain from sharing 

photos of your face

your freckled arms, hands or legs

I kindly ask you 

to avoid stepping

all corners of my city

—once shared with you—

long ago it felt safe

now it’s haunted by the hope

of running into you by chance

I implore you, to free yourself 

from colonizing the streets

I for once could avoid infection 

to my frail mental state

should you choose to ignore me

then do appear on every stage

wearing your tainted name

but hide your looks under a veil

and replace your demeanor 

for that of the subtle tide

trade your tone for something 

unknown

our egos put to rest

I beg you, please

transform yourself into any other

much like I’m trying to be another

who’s not in love with you

sooner than later: us as friends // 23 oct 23

first version (noël’s fave)

sooner than later, us

we’ll be holding hands again

looking into each other’s eyes

laughing about anything or everything

sooner than later, us

we’ll lay on the same couch

watching movies and making stops

to comment and go to the bathroom

sooner than later, my darling

we’ll have the solution 

to the unresolved issue

of being in love with you

sooner than later, my dear

sooner than later, my friend

i’ll be looking into your eyes

knowing exactly what to say

sooner than later, yes

though sooner has not yet come

and I wait, impatiently, til the day I wake up

and you don’t run through my mind

not as a friend, not as a former lover

but as the lips I kiss and the face I grab

as the body I pray to and the mind I touch

that day, sadly, is not to be seen

but sooner than later,

my soon to be friend, 

it will be 

7 nov

I wish we could take some time 

without disrupting space

but breaking up, if anything

is setting the distance to go back to ourselves

my mind, still, convalescent in missing you

has moments when it thinks otherwise

it has a pattern and a vice to say your name

in the worst and the best of times

my weak, tired, convalescent mind

recovering from loneliness

without you

has a tendency to think that it could work out

but breaking up, if anything, is abandoning hope

is setting fire to the efforts and getting warm

for something better

“something better”, you say

something better could be us, any other time 

in any other space

I wish I could understand your view and your frame

but breaking up, I tell myself, requires time

and it requires space

not for you, not for us

but for myself